I was thinking about sex (I tend to get distracted by this a lot because sex and the male anatomy are both such a huge mystery to me) and I started to actually have feelings and desires. I immediately scolded myself, "you are so evil!" And then I thought, wait, I don't think anyone else is evil, even my friends that have sex (even those who have it out of wedlock). Sex isn't evil! I am not evil! These feelings, thoughts, desires, they are all natural, they are even spiritual and divine. Unless man just started making up the divine aspect of sex as an excuse to have it more often, I think we are supposed to have these feelings and wantings. As far as I can discern, we are taught that our sexuality makes us divine. These emotions and connections are one of the most spiritual aspects of marriage. I'm thinking, even though it feels blasphemous, that according to the doctrines of our relationship with G-d, even our Father in Heaven has sexual feelings. Even Christ had them on earth!!
So we are sent to earth to become like our Father in Heaven. We are asked to learn self control so that we can be in command of our godliness, and apparently our sexuality is an important part of this since we have so many rules regarding its restraint and usage. I'm not sure why we have all these regulations- I guess it is like our other strengths. We are given great power that can be used to destroy and hurt one another, but instead we are instructed to love and be kind at the expense of everything else.
Still, it makes me question homosexuality. It doesn't seem like G-d would just accept that if we are sent to earth and subject to nature some 10% of man will organically be born gay if it is in opposition to our divine nature. If sex and our sexual desires continue into the next life and are indeed part of our godly nature then homosexual attraction must be as well. Since He has to obey the rules of nature did G-d just say, "I sacrifice a tith of you in order for the rest of man to have the necessary sexual drive to become divine?" I can't see Him doing that. So I guess the question is, is sexuality a natural drive that is necessary so we procreate, which is our divine purpose? Or, is sexuality in and of itself divine, in which case it seems as though all sexuality should be divine? Are we given the law of chastity so that we can create stable families- in which case homosexuals should also be expected to hold those standards and be with one life partner and adopt children or use invitro techniques? Or, against all common sense and reason, do we have earthly attributes that we must overcome to become divinity? This doesn't make sense if sexuality is divine, because then 90% of man would not have to overcome their desires for celestial glory.
I can understand if we have earthly laws to govern our sexuality. That makes sense because we need to gain control over our bodies and certain behaviors enhance family solidarity. I can understand (if gay marriage is indeed ok and only not revealed as of yet because church members are human, dumb, and not ready for truth) that we are all expected to keep these laws and demonstrate our yearning to serve our Father by showing our obedience. We sacrifice our desires to have sex with whoever, whenever for our spiritual progression. What I can't see, is if sexuality is eternal and divine how only one type can be right. Unless we have been blindfolded by the world and homosexuality is just a thing of nature and those desires will change after we lose our earthly bodies (which will make all the women who die single very happy in the next life because all the amazing gay men will suddenly be straight and they can all marry each other) :P
If sexual desires are only earthly, then I can understand that some of us are lucky enough to have natural desires that can be fulfilled within G-d's commandments (I mean we can't have sex whenever we desire it, but we can be fulfilled with a spouse we are attracted to should we find one), while some are challenged to follow G-d at the expense of their earthly bodies. Then once we get to Heaven we will all be asexual so it won't matter.
I guess the bottom line is we don't really know- which is why we all struggle and blog. I also think this is why we are told not to judge, for how can we judge when we don't understand eternity and when so much has not been reveled? We all must decide for ourselves which gambles we want to take, which desires we want to fulfill, what paths we want to choose, what consequences we are willing to accept. We each have to examine what our Heavenly Father is asking us to do and decide if we are going to do that. We have personal revelation for a reason. If it was a blanket truth for all mankind we wouldn't be asked to communicate with G-d on our own.
