There are certain desires I have that I don't give in to. There is a faith in me that believes in the commandments and the peace, blessings, and safety that comes by following them. I know the truth of the scriptures, which means I do believe in punishment and justice for our acts of rebellion against the truths that we know, whether or not we agree with the laws and regardless of the difficulty we have in obeying them. I also believe in mercy, and I think in the Lord's infinite wisdom His mercy will balance with true justice and He will look at our hearts, the reasons behind our actions, and the weight we've had to carry.
The more sacrifices we make here the greater blessing we will have in the next life because everything will be made up to us and restored- we will have more than we will ever have to sacrifice. "For after much tribulation [which usually happens when we sacrifice] come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory" (D&C 58:4).
But, I think there are many ways to sacrifice. With my whole soul I believe that the same-sex-attracted members who marry the opposite sex will be blessed with complete attraction and desire for their spouse in the next life. I believe that after this life all things will make sense and we will be gods and we will fully understand our divinity, nature, and power. I also think that those who leave the church, the ssa who choose same-sex companionships also sacrifice. They sacrifice certainty, family, and the church that has surrounded them since birth. They sacrifice one type of love and happiness for a different type of love and happiness.
And what about cleanliness, repentance, and the ability to dwell with the Lord through keeping His commandments? Perhaps rectification is not how it's often perceived. The ability to dwell with our Heavenly Father is in our desire to dwell with Him- the love, cleanliness, and purity of our hearts and our motives. No one, save Christ, can keep all the commandments so our knowledge, intent, temptation, and remorse are all weighed in at our judgment. I honestly believe that even Hitler can be exalted. Only imagine the hell he will feel when he is faced with the seven million innocent children of the Lord he murdered. How long will his own remorse drag and bind his soul in hell?
And how about not being tempted above that which we are able to handle? Is earthly love, companionship, and family a temptation that is greater than we can handle? Or is it a choice to live one way and accept the trials, blessings, sorrows, and joys that come with that choice? Is not being sealed to an eternal family unit the consequence for having relationships with the same sex? Is it that in the next life one will no longer have attraction and desire for his/her same-sex companion and only be left with plutonic love for the partner? Is it being together as a family and just not being sealed in the way the Lord intended mankind to be sealed? As salvation is an individual matter and exaltation is a family matter, I can see how family sealings create a string, a binding, a pulling, and a yearning that can stretch through generations to bring all mankind to exaltation. I can see the peace and wonder of His plan. Now, I might be struck down for being so sacrilegious perhaps, but what if the many Christlike traits that gay men are blessed with, that many straight men aren't blessed with, leave gay men less dependent on a family string for salvation? They are more able to love with pure intentions and granted with more Christlike attributes than the men who need wives and families to reach the progression and position for salvation. (And that is a thought and obviously not talking about ALL gay men or ALL straight men). Even if exaltation is a family matter, there must be more because I know that those who have not been sealed in the Temple, those with alternative earthly families, and those without earthly families, and those with honestly evil family members, aren't left out of Christ's loving arms.
And for those who live in families structured the way Heavenly Father ordained them to be, those who sacrifice their earthly selves for their divinity, all they sacrifice will be made up and their blessings of peace, pleasure, and happiness will be unimaginably glorious. I think their joy here will also be great, but different from the happiness those living based on their earthly desires experience.
Back in my box of strict Gospel standards and black and white laws I can't help but feel that the Gospel, not the idiotic and bigoted members and leaders of the church, brings greater peace and joy and less sorrow and pain here and after. We grow through sacrifices and trails and so those who face more here, those who give up more of their earthly selves here, have less growing to do in the next world. Those who live outside the Lord's commandments will have more growth, learning, and preparation to go through in the next life before they are exalted. Maybe this is what damnation is, the learning period, because quite frankly for a lot of my growth I've definitely been in hell. Perhaps the more refined and Christlike we become through our earthly hell the less painful growth we will have to go through in the next world. And I think those who love the church and act on homosexuality and choose those relationships have their own growth, trials, sacrifices, and preparation here. What will rectification be? I don't know- but I know it will be just in all ways- for those who sacrifice, those who hurt, those who stay, those who leave.
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