For personal reasons last week I deleted my blog, but I'm happy to be returning to the blog-o-sphere now. Thanks to someone very, very dear to me I'm done with constantly being the victim. I am finished being selfish and prideful to the point that I think everyone's actions are about me and everyone's sins are my fault. I was so conceited I believed that I was worth less than everyone else and hated more than anyone else. It was all or nothing to the point that if someone was special, I was useless, and if I was not everything, I was a nonentity. Well F* that! The only thing I was being a victim of was of my own thoughts and I was so concerned with my self-inflicted pain I didn't realize I was hurting others. I'm sorry that I need to be forced to stop injuring myself when I'm so obstinate I insist on walking on a bleeding and smashed toe. Thank you. I will not be so selfish I destroy others.
Oh- and I'm strong too :)
So two really great songs that I found and that I think say so much coupled together:
2 comments:
Welcome back!
Did I miss the songs somewhere?
Ops- I forgot the songs:
Yes, I made the choice
For papa, I will stay
But I don't deserve to to lose my freedom in this way
You monster!
If you think that what you've done is right, well then
You're a fool!
Think again!
Is this home?
Is this where I should learn to be happy?
Never dreamed
That a home could be dark and cold
I was told
Ev'ry day in my childhood:
Even when you grow old
Home should be where the heart is
Never where words so true!
My heart's far, far away
Home is too
Is this home
Is this what I must learn to believe in
Try to find
Something good in this tragic place
Just in case
I should stay here forever
Held in this empty place
Oh, that won't be easy
I know the reason why
My heart's far, far away
Home's alike
What I'd give to return
To the life that I knew lately
But I know now I can't
All my problems going by
Is this home?
Am I here for a day or forever?
Shut away
From the world until who knows when
Oh, but then
As my life has been altered once
It can change again
Build higher walls around me
Change ev'ry lock and key
Nothing lasts, nothing holds
All of me
My heart's far, far away
Home and free! (Beauty and the Beast, Home)
There's been a change in me, a kind of moving on
Though what I used to be, I still depend upon
For now I realize that good can come from bad
That may not make me wise
But oh, it makes me glad
And I, I never thought I'd leave behind
My childhood dreams, but I don't mind
For now I love the world I see
No change of heart, a change in me
For in my dark despair, I slowly understood
My perfect world out there had disappeared for good
But in its place I feel a truer life begin
And it's so good and real
It must come from within
And I, I never though I'd leave behind
My childhood dreams, but I don't mind
I'm where and who I want to be
No change of heart, a change in me
No change of heart, a change in me(Beauty and the Beast, A Change in Me)
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